Depressed
by WanderlustandFreedom
Summary: They all do it. Drag the silver across their wrists, their ankles, their hips. It's a shame hers and Evie's don't show, because it's almost as if their problems don't exist. A horrible proposition for someone like them. Trigger Warning: Depression, Suicide, Cutting. 1/5 (Old and unedited)


**Please know, I am in no way patronizing, condemning, poking fun at, or in other words, disrespecting the tender subjects of depression, cutting, or suicide. Even though this story does not feature suicide, I feel I should put that on the list as well. It is not good to poke fun at other people's pain, sorrows, and hardships.**

 **And I do not own Disney's Descendants.**

 _They all do it. Drag the silver across their wrists, their ankles, their hips. It's a shame hers and Evie's don't show, because it's almost like their problems don't exist once the scars fade. A horrible proposition to them, considering the backgrounds they come from._

Mal knows she won't be able to hide it forever. Even now, Ben is slowly putting together the pieces and trying to figure out the reasons. The reasons behind why Jay keeps a small, sharp blade tucked into his belt or tied to his wrists with durable leather everywhere he goes. It's why Evie has all the dark make up and sometimes will put it on around her eyes, on her cheekbones and other places on her face, neck, arms, and legs, to make it look like she has bruises, even though no one has ever seen an actual bruise on her. It's why Carlos will stumble into breakfast with red, black, and blue circles under his eyes after having been up all night, too petrified to sleep.

It's why she herself smiles her odd, mysterious smile and covers for the other three. Saying small things like "She's thinking of helping out with stage makeup." or "He accidentally got himself in the eye when we had a pillow fight last night.".

Ben used to eat it up, but one day the tight wrappings on Jay's wrists had broken. He'd left the room almost as soon as it happened, but the sudden release of pressure on the... wounds under the wrappings had caused them to bleed, and Ben had spotted the blood. Suddenly it was the king himself looking into every little thing that happened, questioning everything.

"Hey Mal, I never noticed it before, but Evie has a knife on her bedside table. Why?" Mal blinked and stared for a few seconds. "It's for her sewing. She uses it to cut the thicker fabrics she works with." She lies while reminding herself to put that knife away.

"Mal, sweetheart, Carlos doesn't look to well. What's up with him?" Ben asked while slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, he's just feeling a little out of sorts." She says smoothly.

"Shouldn't we take him to the doctor?" He asks concernedly.

"Ben, you know how we feel about Doctors." She replied with a crease in between her eyebrows.

After a while, he began to suspect she was in on it too.

"Mal, why do you always wear long sleeve shirts?" He asks her one day as they are walking through the extensive castle grounds. Jay and Carlos are running ahead, pushing each other into the bushes (by god she doesn't know how they do it with their wrists and hips, but), and Evie is just behind them walking and applying a fresh coat of lip gloss. But they all stop, or at least slow their movements so they can listen in. Evie lets the roll-on lip gloss slide slowly once, twice, and then three times. But Mal shrugs offhandedly and says: "It's just something I'm accustomed to." And to prove her point she slips off her jacket. The shirt underneath it is loose, long, and brown, but her wrists are clearly exposed. Scarless.

He stares a moment then quickly averts his eyes. When he does, he sees Carlos and Jay are watching with trepidation and turns to see Evie is looking at him above her mirror. But they all quickly avert their eyes and go about their business.

It makes him suspect them even more.

* * *

Dinner with the former King and Queen is always tense. They still don't care for Mal, her background, and the fact they tried to sabotage Ben's coronation. But they are politely withdrawn, and take great care to only speak with her when in the best interests of Ben. Even then, they act like strangers meeting her for the first time. They always leave when Ben's patience wears thin, and he can no longer stand the small comments both of his parent make about nice girls they know of, or how villains don't make the best queens.

But tonight, it's different.

Ben gives his parents a halfhearted, distracted hug, and then sits in the wrong seat - twice. (They all have allotted seats when they come to visit, and Ben's never once forgotten this.) He'll say a few lines to add on to their conversation occasionally, but overall drops off in the middle of his sentences and doesn't pay attention when asked questions. Mal and Evie exchange frequent concerned glances and at one-point Adam turns to glance concernedly at Belle. Jay and Carlos just shift their eyes toward their plates.

After attempting to go over currant Auradon affairs, and how is school going, and even going as far as to ask if he'd consider meeting Azalea, the daughter of Aladdin (To which he focuses long enough to say No.), the King and Queen turn to Mal and begin to start interrogating her. "What is wrong with him?" "What did you do?" "Why is he like this?"

And Ben finally wakes up. "Mom! Dad!" He says angrily. "How dare you accuse her of such things?!" Belle heaves a sigh of relief as she slumps back in her chair, but Adam stares hardly at Ben for a few long, awkward moments before slowly standing. He wipes his mouth with a handkerchief and leaves without another word. Ben sighs tiredly, and looks at his watch. His gaze flickers between each of the villain kids. "I apologize mother, but given the circumstances I believe it would be best if we departed."

Belle nods numbly, and Ben drops his voice a little. "I would like a few moments to speak with you in private before we leave." Belle nods again, and Ben leans down to kiss Mal's cheek before he crosses the table to lead his mother from the room. Evie breathes a sigh of relief as they leave. Carlos picks up one of the knifes on the table and turns it over in his palm. They all watch him carefully, as he turns it one way, then another, then places it back on the table. "Silver." He mutters quietly. Mal finds herself unconsciously nodding. The King and Queen always lay out silver, because even though Mal is only part fairy, iron still burns and irritates her skin.

It's one of the reasons the four of them carry silver knifes, not iron.

Jay is picking at the wraps around his wrists, and as he lifts one, she sees the dried red on the bottom and swallows hard. She sees movement out of the corner of her eye and turns to see Carlos shift in his seat. At first, she wonders if the wounds on his hips are hurting him, but then spots the missing knife on the table. He'd slipped it into his pocket. Evie blinks slowly, the only sign of emotion on her face; she must have seen it too.

Mal starts to bite her cheek. Gnawing on the tortured flesh. Then she pretends not to notice when Jay and Evie both slip a knife into their sleeves. So long as they don't mention anything when she grabs one herself. It turns her stomach, but it's become an addiction to each of them.

They all sit in silence, reading each other as much as possible before Evie says, "What do you think they're talking about?"

Jay and Carlos shrug, but then Mal looks straight at Evie until the blue-haired girl answers her own question. "Us?"

Mal nods weakly, and then all falls silent until Carlos reaches into his pocket and places the knife back on the table. "They'll notice." He mutters. "Best not to give them anything else to worry about." Jay slips his back onto the white cloth and says, "We already have enough." And Evie follows saying "Not like we need them anyway."

Mal slides hers onto the table, but doesn't say anything.

Ben leads his mother back into the room sometime after. Her face is a tad pale, and she gives them each a small, sad smile. Her eyes linger a few seconds longer, before she averts them. Ben lets go of her arm and moves to escort Mal instead. Jay and Carlos, ever in sync, stand up at the same time and thank Belle for dinner. Jay helps Evie up and escorts her back out to the car. Carlos trails along until Mal gestures him up by her. He shuffles forward, and Mal slips an arm around him.

He glances up at her startled, and she knows it's not because she put her arm around him.

It's because she slipped the silver knife from the table back into his pocket.

* * *

It's late when they get back. Carlos, in the car, whispered his thanks for the knife. and she nodded softly. Ben walks with them up to their rooms, and just before Mal slips inside her room, Ben grabs her arm. "Could you come upstairs with me really quick? I want to talk to you about a problem that came up with Isle of Lost. I want your input on it."

Mal blinks. Was this what he had spoken about with his mother? She had been so sure...

She nods and he slips an arm around her. Leading her away upstairs to his private study, where he takes care of the kingdom. He opens all the doors for her, and then kisses her hair before she slips inside. The room is dark and he turns on the lamp on the desk. He's reaching for the light switches when there's a knock on the door and a maid pokes her head in. "Your Highness, I apologize, but your presence is needed in the formal room."

Ben sighs, and then says "Sorry Mal. I need to go. I should be back soon. Just... make yourself comfortable."

She nods understandably and he leaves, the maid following him.

And she is alone.

She goes to sit at his desk and fires up the computer so she can browse the internet. As the loading circle spins, her eyes wander, and fall on a long, slender knife on the side table.

She stares for a moment, and her mind briefly wonders why Ben would have such a knife simply laid out, but she doesn't dwell on it for long. As the password screen lights up the computer, she stands and walks to the knife. Steel. She's never used a steel knife. She wonders if it would hurt because steel is made from iron.

She lifts the leather wrapped handle, and the blade glints in the low light. She holds it at an angle, and then presses it to her wrists. A long, even cut forms, as if by some sort of magic. She closes her eyes for a second, then re-angles it, preparing to take it back across her wrists.

Then the door opens.

Ben stands there, rubbing his eyes, before he looks up and sees his girlfriend, blood leaking from an even slice in her wrist, and staring at him like a deer caught in headlights.

And he swears.

"Mal!" He launches across the room faster than he's ever gone in a tourney game, in one of his races with Jay and Carlos, or when they were chasing each other with cupcake batter. He grabs her arm and pulls the knife out of her hand. The wound is healing, but he is freaking out, and insists on running to the bathroom at top speed for a handkerchief and water, and on spending five-minute dabbing frantically at the cut while she assures him she is fine, and it will heal on its own in a few minutes. When it finally stops bleeding and he wipes away the blood, she is momentarily amused by the look of shock on his face as he sees the clear skin. Not even a scar is left.

"What? Wha-" He sputters, and she pulls her wrists out of his hands. "I'm part fae Ben."

He sits back, and she can see the wheels slowly beginning to turn and his head catches up with the rest of him. Then he rasps "How long?"

She shrugs offhandedly. "Since before we came here."

"Why?"

There is silence, and Mal wishes Ben could read her as well as Evie and the boys can. "I-I don't know. Things are different where we come from." She had hoped the gentle poke about where they come from would stall further questions, because even though Ben has heard little about the island, he is embarrassed by it. He considers it a rather large and ugly stain on his family's otherwise perfect ruling record. But alas, he completely ignores it and takes her hands. Staring up at her with the largest, deepest, saddest eyes she has ever seen.

"But _why_ Mal?" He asks, sounding heartbroken.

And. She. Bursts. Into. Tears.

"I-I-I-I c-can't." She sobs, and he pulls her forward into his embrace. Still she sobs. "W-W-W-We've a-a-always b-been l-like t-t-this. I-I-I-I d-d-don't r-remember anything e-else." She cries into his shoulder. He begins rubbing her back comfortingly. "We?" He asks softly. "Carlos, Evie, and Jay?" She nods breathlessly. "I-I-It's n-not f-f-fair!" She says. "T-T-They have their scars and marks but Evie's and mine just go away! Because I'm a fairy and she was cursed by her mom. We all have t-the same p-problems, but ours won't show!"

Ben pushed her off him a little, and her heart stopped. Was he rejecting her?

But then he moved forward and kissed each of the tears off her face. He lifted her wrists, soft, pale, and kissed them both gently. Then he looked deep into her eyes and said "You are beautiful. Please stop."

She starts crying again.

Carlos, Jay, and Evie are all taken to the infirmary early the next day. By order of the king, none of the Doctors are to speak to anyone, and no one is to even know they were there. Carlos was the worst. His hips and wrists were badly infected and torn to perfect, even shreds. His legs weren't as bad, but were gruesome to say the least. Jay was next. His wrists had been wrapped so tightly when they removed the wrapping it was like someone had collected a gallon of blood and dumped it. Horrible. Bits of torn leather had found their way into his skin along with dirt, sweat, grime, and bits of string. It was difficult to discern muscle from skin, and the whole thing gave off a repulsive scent. And yet still not as bad as Carlos.

Evie had showed her clean wrists and explained the string of painful curses that had been inflicted on her when she was young. The Doctors had examined her and told her that until they knew more about the curses, there was nothing they could do. The library was cleaned out in Auradon, and a search party sent to the Isle to interrogate the Evil Queen.

And Mal?

Well she had Ben to kiss away her tears... and find the knives she held on to and dispose of them...and to hold her at night and tell her all the individual things he loved about her...

So really, she was alright in the end too.


End file.
